That’s a very well-phrased question. Because impulsive shopping, as it’s commonly understood or explained by neurotypical people, isn't what it appears to be. The real impulse stems from a much deeper place.
When you feel that urge, several factors could be at play, but the core issue is the nature of the impulse itself. The common presentation of impulsive shopping makes it seem like a sudden, desperate need for a specific item. But it's usually not about that one thing. It's about the impulse to buy anything.
Let me explain where this comes from. It’s rooted in a life lived in a constant state of scarcity.
My 8 Crowns and the Urge to Spend
I’ll use a personal example because it’s the most accurate way to describe it. I’ve always been good with money. I knew how to handle it, and I never really had a problem. But when I started on this new path of self-discovery, I knew it wouldn't be easy. For the first time in my life, I experienced a true lack of money. A profound scarcity.
I remember a moment when I had exactly 8 Czech crowns to my name. That’s it. Zero. So, when I finally earned some money—I think it was about 25,000 CZK in a one-off payment—I instantly understood the feeling. It was an immediate, overwhelming need to make myself feel good by getting rid of the very money I just received.
It sounds strange, but it makes perfect sense. You spend a long time living without money, feeling its absence, the lack of its energy. If you think about it, money is condensed energy. The paper itself has no value; its power lies in the energy it gives you, the potential to transform it into things you need or want.
Impulsive shopping happens the moment you get that money. "Hey, I can buy this! And this!" Suddenly, you can. You might have even planned it, dreaming about the day you have money and can finally buy that lipstick, or whatever it may be.
How Do You Get Out of the Trap?
So, how do you escape this cycle?
The easy answer is, "Just have money all the time." But that's not a helpful solution. The real key is to befriend your money. To have more control over it than it has over you. You need to internalize the fact that it’s far more effective to have money than to spend it.
This isn’t about shutting off the tap completely. Money needs to flow. There’s a reason the rich get richer and the poor get poorer—the poor often lack a healthy flow of money. Or, if they do have a flow, it’s going in the wrong direction.
For a year, my money flowed in the wrong direction, too. As soon as it came in, it went straight back out. The right direction is investment. And I don't mean buying Tesla stock.
Investing in What Truly Matters
An investment is anything you buy that makes you more money or adds significant value to your life. If you're a taxi driver, pouring money into your car is an investment. If you work in a factory and are tuning the same car for fun, you're just throwing money away.
Now, for you, as a woman, I hold one belief that I know is unpopular, but I say it because I believe it's profoundly true.
Please, invest in yourself.
Buy the nice lingerie. Buy the dress. Buy the quality cosmetics. I’ll repeat that: buy the quality cosmetics. It is important.
In the dynamic of people with ADHD, who often come from "hunter" archetypes, your task is not to be the primary earner. That is your man’s job. This is how it is structured. Our women are not meant to be mere ornaments; they are meant to be our support. And investing in yourself, in your well-being and confidence, is a crucial part of that supportive role.