At 35, I 'found out' I was 'ill'. The funny thing is, I'd known about my ADHD since childhood. I just hadn't realized it came with such... complications. I didn't grasp the weight the label carried for others.
It's not about having a 'milder form' – that doesn't exist. There's just ADHD, inherently unique in each person. Yes, we share common threads, but fundamentally, we are all ABSOLUTELY DIFFERENT. I never lived according to a symptom checklist. Sure, I have the 'classic' signs, but I always perceived them differently. I shaped my life around my wiring, not the other way around. Maybe that's a key difference often seen between men and women with ADHD... for many of us men, especially early on, we simply don't care as much what others think. That visible 'hyperactivity'?
Perhaps it's partly fueled by that indifference.
The Real Catalyst: Meeting (and Not Meeting) Denisa
But this story isn't truly about my own ADHD. It's about you. Or more accurately, it began with Denisa. A woman I got to know intimately, yet never truly met in the way I expected.
Our connection was intense, purely online at first. Long messages, voice notes exchanged constantly. We built a world through words and voices, never seeing each other face-to-face for months. I was captivated by her energy, her depth, her humor... and her ADHD, which felt both familiar and profoundly different from mine.
Then, one night, impulse took over – she jumped in a taxi and traveled 100km at midnight just to meet. The real-world encounter, however... that's a story for another time, perhaps. What matters is what happened after.
The Realization That Changed Everything
After we finally met in person, something shifted. It wasn't that I 'lost interest'. It was... confusion. The Denisa I met felt different from the soul I had connected with so deeply online. It took me a month of silence and reflection to understand why.
She had been escaping her challenging reality into our safe, digital space. Online, she could be her unfiltered self. But face-to-face, the lifetime of conditioning kicked in. She had to put on the mask – the one needed to survive in a world that didn't understand. I hadn't fallen for the mask; I had connected with the brilliant person underneath. And the weight of that "mask", the need for it, became painfully clear. That realization fueled me.
From One Story to Many: The Quest for 'How'
Denisa's story became a lens. I spent the next six months coaching, talking, and truly listening to other women with ADHD. I continued my research, diving deeper than just symptoms. I wanted to understand the 'why' behind the masking, the 'how' of their daily navigation.
Today, after immersing myself in countless stories and data points, I feel like the more I know, the more I realize how much there is to know. The sheer diversity of experience is staggering. But one thing became crystal clear: the world needed better tools, not just more opinions.
Why Allice Must Be Unbiased
This entire journey – my own experience, Denisa's impact, the stories of countless women – is the 'why' behind Allice. It fuels my motivation. But my personal story does not, and must not, influence the Allice model itself.
It was crucial to design Allice to be completely unbiased. She doesn't carry my views or anyone else's. Her purpose is to provide a neutral, safe space with practical tools, allowing you to find your truth and your way. There has been enough pain caused by judgment and imposed expectations. Allice is here to offer an alternative.
My Role: Facilitator, Not Face
You won't see my face plastered everywhere. My goal isn't visibility for myself; it's tangible help for you. I want to create something genuinely useful, something that empowers thousands of women to navigate their world with more ease and self-acceptance.
I believe that you will capture and support my unique insight, determination, and the heart that I put into this even before I have it fully ready for you. I don't want a commitment from "investors" and to pay with "data." I want a commitment to people and to pay with "service."